Sunday, March 18, 2007

My pretty little (glass?) house

I have this friend. Messed up one, he is. Pronouncing judgements on how other people should be leading their lives, and yet not looking at his own glass house. I have a problem against such people. Before you make a stand against something done by someone else, step out of that house. Look at it from the outside. You will be surprised, if not shocked, when you see how the world views you. We grow up in this shell and make our own assumptions about how we seem to others. The underconfident feel that they are not appreciated, while the overconfident, well, they're a whole new story. I cannot understand how a person (crude regular bully in my eyes, and everyone else's) can so calmly and confidently explain that the reason the office boy gets her what she wants, is that she is polite to him.

Whoa! Hold on there a bit girl! Are you trying to tell us the rest of us are not polite? And why are the rest of us just quietly listening to this? Well, because, at the end of the day, there is no point. She will never understand. Little slow on the uptake, this one. And 'Little' is an understatement.

So whats the solution to this growing breed of intolerable un-understandable humans? Any ideas? How do we tackle them? Do we tackle them? Or look for traces of them in ourselves?

Sunday, March 4, 2007

I'm sorry Ma


I know you don't want me to have a boyfriend, let alone be intimate with someone who doesn't even love me. I know you don't want me to date anyone. I know you just want me to hold out till I get married, to some nice rich educated boy. From our caste. But I have to live my life the way I want to Ma. I also don't want to hurt you Ma. That is the reason I lie that I have to work, when I have to meet him. And I don't want you to believe in that horoscope. I do not want to get married within the next year to someone I'm not in love with. I may fall in love with him. But that's not for sure, is it? He may not be like me. He may not understand me. My past. What if he's like the people in your generation? Will I have to lie to him too? I will not cheat on him. But will I have to lie about male friends? About my old boyfriends? Its all too difficult Mother. I want a chance to fall in love with a person, to want to and to want him to want to marry me. Is that too much to ask?

I'm sorry Ma, I'm stuck between the world at home and the world outside.

I love you.

Time for a tear

For M, a large part of my life.

Tonight it's time for another tear
For you are no longer mine, my dear
I've hoped and prayed to see it in your eyes
One day, I said to myself, one day I would see it
But I'm growing tired of the wait
I do not want to accept it as fate
I know that I say I've had enough
But in the morning I'll look at my phone
And I'll hope you thought of me when you woke up.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

About Me

I'm a girl from India. Yes, formerly the land of snake charmers and Maharajahs, now the land of innovative entrepreneurs with funny accents, curries, and engineers in hordes. I'm a girl who's stuck in the middle of family values, morals and ethics. I'm a girl whose definitions of morals and ethics have changed tremendously over the 22 years that she has seen. What once was unthinkable has been done. Without guilt. Or maybe some.

For to some, I am the simple girl who does not talk much, to some others, I am a generally fun-loving person who can take a joke, for others I'm the girl who's kissed too many people or had too many relationships. I'm not sure which one I really am.

The (rather profound) Eminem says,
.. And I am whatever you say I am,
If I wasn't then why would you say I am?